My journey: Past, present, future

                 I am writing a new entry to make a shout out to those people who have stayed by my side and the people who not necessarily left but decided to let me go. I won't name names but you all know by now my family has stayed by my side, I wouldn't have it any other way. Family always sticks by you through thick and thin. No matter what is going on in my life at the moment my parents and my siblings continue to be there for me. I can say I have some incredible friends too. My 3rd grade teacher and her aide are still by my side even though I haven't seen them in a very, very, very, long time. I recently got hired for a job at Kohl's and hope to save up enough money to go and see them. They really did change my life, I talk to my teacher as much as I can on facebook and she's always gracious. I continue to remain in contact with my aide as well. I write to her the old fashioned way. I wrote her a letter the first week of September but have not gotten a reply, I hope she is doing well, I think of her often, if not for her and my teacher I wouldn't be who I am today. I respect them both very much for what they did for me. I know they realize how much I appreciate them.

     I moved from CT to MA in 1997, I remember how hard it was for me when I started school here. I was bullied pretty badly, I was called ugly, I was teased about my learning differences. My own peers found out about it. I made friends but they turned on me because I think they felt like they didn't want to be friends with someone who was different from them or outside the box. It hurt so bad because I really didn't have anyone to turn to. Once I started middle school I thought things would get better but my peers just continued to taunt  me, I have to give a thank you to those who did stay by my side, my teachers. My guidance counselor and everyone who stepped in to lend their support. If it wasn't for them I don't know what I would have done, I remember when I was younger wishing I could be normal, that I could have friends who loved me and cared about me. I have grown up so much since then, it's funny some of the people who taunted me back in the day are now my friends on facebook. I don't think they know the taunting and the teasing hurt me so much, and I don't think I will ever forget or forgive because I don't think I'm ready for that step yet.

       I know what some of you will say but honestly forgiveness for me takes time, some people have to earn it. I've moved on but forgiving for me is another thing. I think it is for anyone who was bullied they go through  a long period of time before they forgive their tormentors, and trust me I had a lot of them. I think about how things could have been different if I didn't have a learning difference would I have still been bullied? I think about that question often. I hope the people who read this know I'm not trying to vent my frustration on anybody, but to let people know just how amazing people can be. If not for my parents, my teachers, and those who stayed by my side during the hard times who knows where I'd be. I dedicate this to all my teachers, they all know who they are. I had a long talk with the director at my program the other day and told him that one day I hope to be a teacher so that I can make a difference in someone's life. I hope to one day make that dream a reality, I think I can do it, once I put my mind to it.

      I really do enjoy writing in my blog, it helps me when I'm feeling down to put my thoughts on paper, I love that I'm putting myself out there too and that people are following, reading, and commenting on my blog. I think that it's so important for me to have a place to come to every once in a while. I know I don't write everyday but I will try my best to change that. I think that I've come a long way and I hope to continue to keep you all up to date on what's going on in my life. I hope whoever is reading this leaves a comment for me, I will make sure to post this on facebook as well. I know some don't have access to my blog. Have a great night, if anything exciting happens I'll be sure to add to this tomorrow.