Feeling good today

       I decided to write a blog entry today to mention that I filled out an application for Kohl's this morning with the job coach at the Point After Club. At first I was nervous because the questions can be quite tricky especially when you're doing it online but thanks to the help of Gerry I was able to fill it out and submit it. I see this as a step in the right direction at least I hope. Although retail is not my dream career it's something that I can do for a while and make decent money doing. I do feel a little nervous because I've been so used to going to the club for two years. I still want to be able to visit as much as I can especially since the holidays are coming up. I feel so fortunate to have had Gerry's support. She had a job opportunity for me, so I filled out the application. I am working with Mass Rehab but the woman I work with at least in my opinion hasn't been as helpful as she could be. She has supported me but Gerry was there at the right time and I really, really need a job. I have been unemployed for a year and let me tell you it doesn't feel to good to rely on someone else for money.

       Being independent is so important to me, the first step to me is to make my own money!! I would also like to learn how to budget my money. I want to save up for school down the road, help pay off loans and even something as simple as going out to lunch and being able to pay for it myself would be nice. I should find out something soon and when I do I will be sure to update everybody. Today was really good for me. I had a great dinner with some awesome people at the program I attend. I may have a job lined up and I may even attend a peer specialist training in the winter. I think helping others is something I've always wanted to do. It's something that is suits me. I have been mentored myself and now I think it's time I mentor someone else. I would love to help young adults especially since I'm a young person myself it makes sense to me. I got to attend a young adult celebration last night it was a lot of fun. I know I've come a long way in my journey since I got sick a little over 3 years ago. It will be 4 years in April of 2013.

     I love the people at the point after club, I'm sure they all know that. I remember how shy I was when I first started in spring of 2010. I was so nervous, very timid, everything you would expect with me. I am so shy it's not even funny. But I can be talkative once I get to know people. But sometimes it can be hard for me to open up. All the staff at the club has been so supportive of me. They have done so much for me. There are times where I almost feel like I can't believe they still allow me to be a member of the program. I have not had a serious set-back in a few years. But I know they appreciate me and all of the things I do there. I do a lot when I'm there. Today I made some signs, I worked on the newsletter a couple days ago and I even got a nice compliment from the assistant director. It always makes me feel good when people give me compliments. But when it comes to my looks sometimes it's hard to take because sometimes I don't see myself in a positive light. But I'm working on it, and trying to do better.

      It's nice to have people who respect me and understand me. Everyone at the club knows the journey I've been on and they've all supported me through it. I feel so lucky to have all of them in my life. They're an extended family to me. If not for them I don't know where I'd be. Well I'd probably be isolating at home, probably sleeping a lot and watching tv, and being on facebook all the time. I know I still need to get myself out there and come out of my shell more. I have been hanging out with friends from High School but I would love to see friends from College too. It's been so long since I've seen my friends from college I miss them. I hope one day I get to go back to school. Maybe I will get my Master's degree one day who knows. But first I have to save up and figure out where I want to go. I also have to find the right resources so I can get the help I need if I do go back to school. That's been my dream since I left Colby-Sawyer. I hope all my dreams and wishes come true. I have a very, very long list. Some know what they are so I don't think I need to repeat myself. I will end this entry for now but I am so glad I am attracting new readers. I appreciate the comments as well. Please comment on this entry too. I'd appreciate it :)  Have a wonderful night.