Some goals I want to meet for the Spring

It's Monday and I'm bored so I decided to write on my blog. I guess this entry will mostly be about goals I want to meet for the spring and the summer. I hope to lose some weight maybe 10 pounds. I'm not obese, but I'm not thin either. I eat a lot of sugary foods, lately I've been eating the sweet and salty chex mix, on top of that I ate most of my Easter candy. I want to walk the Lawrence and North Andover common on a more regular basis. I don't want to beat myself up about losing weight but I want to be healthy. I'm also doing the NAMI walk in May so hopefully that helps too. I weigh about 185 now, I want to be 175 by the end of the summer or maybe even sooner than that.

I also want to reach out to my friends more, not that I don't. I go to the Point After club when I can. I'm very friendly with the members and staff there. But I want to reach out to my High School and College friends. I didn't get a chance to go to my High School reunion last November. I was bullied in Middle school so maybe that's why I didn't go to my reunion because I was afraid to face my past? I wanted to go but I let my fears get to me. I am really hopeful to see a friend from Landmark over the spring. Maybe on day I will get to reunite with the the Landmark class of 2008. I miss my former classmates a lot. I think about LMC often, especially since that's where I had my psychotic break in 2009. I remember that like it was yesterday. I also remember LMC for the good things. That school changed my life for the better.

I still have to get my learners permit too. I'll be 25 in July and I still don't have it. I'm very afraid at the prospect of learning how to drive. Maybe when I get to Pittsburgh for the summer I'll learn how to drive there. It's time for me to be independent but that's what scares me. I feel like I won't be a good driver, or that I'll get into an accident. But if I don't learn how to drive I will never have the independence I desire. So maybe by the end of the fall I will have my permit. I know I can count on my readers to cross their fingers and toes for me, I really need a lot of prayers that this works out.

I also want to get a job, I don't mind if it's paid or if it's a volunteer job. I am meeting with representative David Torrisi soon to see if I can volunteer for him. I have always had a passion for politics. I have never volunteered for anyone in the political field before. I've always wanted to but just didn't know where to start. I hope to meet with him by the middle of this week. So please wish me luck with that too. I don't know what will happen so I would really appreciate all the well wishes!! If I get a paid job that's good too. I've just felt I've never had good success with keeping a paid job.

That's where my other goal comes in. I need to stop being so hard on myself. I am my own bully in a way. I guess I learned that from the people who hurt me in the past. I also want to stop focusing on the past and look to the future. I tend to think about the past, and sometimes that's not such a good thing for me. It ends up being painful, it can be anything from thinking about the bullying to thinking about the break I had in 2009. I can't believe it's been almost 3 years. It feels like it's been an eternity. I also think I will make writing on my blog a regular ting. I will write every other day. Who knows maybe I'll try my hand at poetry. I'm not so good at it though but I can try. I will end my post for now. I hope my readers had a Happy Easter!!! I know I did. I would really appreciate some comments on this post. Thanks so much for reading. :)