Friday the 13th

So today is Friday the 13th!! For some it's unlucky, people are really superstitious about this particular date. I'm usually not. I don't believe in that sort of stuff, I guess. But today was a pretty crappy day. I mean it started off great. I woke up early and had coffee with State representative David Torrisi. I talked with him for a little over a half hour with his district director Kate Rozzi. I'm really hoping to volunteer for his campaign come fall. I talked to him about how interested I was in politics and that I cared about rights for all human beings. I also talked to him about the club. The Point After Club was the first thing I mentioned. The 3 of us continued to talk and we are going to set up a day for representative Torrisi to come to the club for a tour.

But then I realized once my step-dad and mom came to get me that I forgot to take my anti-anxiety meds. I was totally upset. This was the first time I forgot to take my morning medication. I was worried that I would end up getting sick because of it. I went to the club after the meeting was over and stayed for the day. I was supposed to meet my counselor but she canceled. That bummed me out too. It always helps me when I talk to someone about what's going on in my daily life. At first I felt fine when I got to the club. But then I became sad, I can't explain why. I stayed home most of the week from the club and was pretty unproductive.

When I saw the Assistant Director, she was thrilled to see me, everybody was happy to see me. But as the day went on a feeling of sadness came over me. I guess it was a combination of not taking my meds, and also because I was really looking forward to talking to the assistant director about my meeting with David Torrisi, but people get busy and I understood that. I really did miss the club. I must admit it's easy for me to stay home and be a bum, I watch tv and I'm on facebook all the time. I felt pretty down all day. I didn't tell anybody at all. I'm shy when it comes to that sort of thing. I don't like to talk about my feelings much. I signed up for the shuttle so I could go home for the day. I didn't hear the staff person who was going to take me home say it would be another 5 minutes. I guess I'm hard of hearing. When she said it the final time, she pushed her hands up and in a cross manner said 5 more minutes.

I wasn't trying to rush her, one of the other staff members at least to me seemed to notice that the staff member who was taking me home, was upset with me. So Julie if you felt like I rushed you I truly apologize for that. I wasn't trying to do that at all. I guess a lot of things are on my mind, I don't have a job. I haven't had one since the summer. I'm hoping to get one though, one that won't interfere if I do volunteer with Torrisi. When I got on the shuttle I was quite upset. I almost felt like crying. I wasn't upset with Julie. I just am having a rough time overall. I wish I could just be happy. Not that I'm not. I have my good days. But today was just one of those unlucky days I guess. I totally lost it when I got home. I cried and I cried. I think things are just piling up. I missed a week at the club, which I was also upset about. Things did get somewhat better, my sisters got me Icecream from Mad Maggies. The Sox won their home opener, which also cheered me up. But then at dinner time my mom got mad at me. Then I got mad and cried again. I guess I'm just a mess.

Writing this is really making me feel better though, I guess venting helps. So Julie if you're reading this again I'm really sorry if I upset you. I hope you can forgive me. I'm getting tired and it's also getting late so I will end this post and say goodnight. I'm sure I will write again tomorrow. Like I said it helps to vent when I'm upset. I really do hope tomorrow is better for me. I would appreciate some comments on this, I know I can count on my readers to do that. Have a good night everybody.