Saying good-bye

I haven't written a note since November and thought now would be the perfect time to do it. I am hoping to go visit Landmark College in the spring to give a speech on mental health issues, and my time as a student there. I am a proud LMC alumn. I don't think about it a lot. I had a lot of positive things happen while at LMC. I was a part of a monologue project, which was a lot of fun. I got good grades in most of my classes. I struggled when it came to math though. There's a part of me that feels like when or if I do go back to LMC to give my speech at LMC in the spring that all those memories will come flooding back. Especially spring of 2009 when I had my psychotic break.

I was so scared, I knew something was going on I just didn't know what. I didn't realize that my life would change. I'm sure I've written about this before, so I'm sure you must be bored with what I'm saying. I think it's important to have a place to speak my mind. That's why I come here. I wrote an email to one of my favorite professor's. His name is Jim Baucom and he said he'd be willing to let me speak with some of his students. The thought of speaking about my illness makes me nervous but it's important to me to get it out there. I have to face my fears about going back to the place where I had my breakdown.

As I said if I do go, I will probably say good-bye to LMC for good. I really don't have a reason. I just feel as though it's time. It's in the past now. I had my time there. I know there are people there who would disagree but I feel as though I have to let this special place go now. It's been 3 years since I've graduated, I have my Associates but I don't have my Bachelor's due to taking a leave of absence in April of 2009. I never would have thought that a place that changed my life so much could also be the place where I ended up having a breakdown. I don't blame LMC, or anybody there for my breakdown. There was no way what happened to me was going to be prevented. It was going to happen anyway. In an odd sort of way I thank god for what happened. I have met some amazing people in a year and a half who have really changed my life. In a way they are blessings. I don't know where I'd be without them.

The staff at the Point After Club really affected my life in a positive way. They have been there for me, listened to me when I needed to talk , and offered me support whenever I needed it. The Point After Club is the current place in my life now, I guess that's another reason why I feel like I have to say goodbye to LMC. Maybe I will go back for the 30th anniversary who knows. Don't get me wrong I care about Landmark but it's time to move forward and into the future! I don't want to fall back into the past. I will end this note for now. If I have anything else to say. I'm sure I'll add more. But for now I hope my readers have a happy holidays. I really owe my readers a lot for taking the time to read my posts. Comments are greatly appreciated!!! :)