Hi everyone here is my very first post of 2014. It has been almost 2 months since I've been attending Cornerstone. I have life long friends in everyone I've met there. The staff have changed my life too. I was able to visit my other program today for the first time in two months the Haverhill clubhouse, and when I walked in I felt a rush of emotions when I saw all the staff and the members. I was beaming when I saw everyone. I missed them all so much, and was so excited to tell everyone how I was doing. I told Jo that I was having the time of my life at Cornerstone and she was filled with pride when she heard the news. I told her how wonderful the classes were and how much I was enjoying them. I am learning more and more about myself everyday. Mind you there are still obstacles in my way. I talked to Charlotte and she was also happy for me. I never felt so much love before from all the staff and members. I was able to FINALLY convince my awesome coordinator to let me attend the club once a week.
I am so thrilled that I will be able to go in and have a full day and gradually have the clubhouse back in my life. I came back to Cornerstone and sat in my coordinators office and cried happy tears. I was too afraid to get emotional in front of anyone at the club, I have been learning at Cornerstone that it's okay to cry. Or rather let your emotions out. I am so happy that I did go to the club today. That I didn't let missing just one group get in my way. That was my biggest fear. I don't like missing groups, as I like them a lot. I am blessed to have Jo, Lisa, Charlotte, John, and Ron in my life. I am also blessed to have all the staff at Cornerstone in my life I know how much they care about me. I care about them as well. I don't know if it's too early to say that Cornerstone has changed my life but I think so far it has.
If I hadn't called Cornerstone and hadn't had my parents pushing me to go I would have continued to spiral like I was with my depression and thoughts of wanting to hurt myself. I know that I would have Isolated as well and wouldn't have gone out of the house very much. I am so glad I have friends in Toni, Kevin, Colleen, Jared, Jamie, Ethan, Marysa, and all the students at Cornerstone. I thank god everyday that I am alive and have learned about being grateful and learning to be more positive. It might be hard to say that I'm beautiful or that I feel great. I wouldn't know what to do without Cornerstone in my life. I am just so happy and feel a huge debt to them for coming into my life. I am also blessed as I said for those staff at Haverill who came into my life. I owe all of you a huge debt for your support and love. I am just so full of joy today that I want to jump up and down. I can't even begin to describe it to you the feeling of love and pride that I have in my heart. Thanks to everyone for reading and following my blog. It is greatly appreciated I love you all. :)
Oh and I forgot this quote I forgot today from my last group at Cornerstone. It spoke volumes to me.
" Today , I am willing to make a decision that is good for me. Today I am willing to start to like myself, even maybe be kind to myself. I deserve to be good to me. I am willing today to focus on my heart and what is good for me. Today, I ask myself, is this a decision that is loving for me"?
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