Just want to vent!!

Today is Sunday March 15th, I start week 8 of classes tomorrow morning. Time certainly does fly, I arrived several hours ago after a week long spring break. I didn't do much while I was home, I pretty much stayed in my room. That place is my sanctuary, I can hide from the world in there, nobody will bother me. Well except for my cat Diego, he likes to go under the bed. My room is my safe place, I can just be lazy and not worry about the outside world. I know that's not the way it should be for me though. I don't necessarily have to go out and make friends, I can just simply call one of my good friends on the phone and say hey want to go get a cup of coffee?

I never do that though. I don't know if it's a fear thing, I don't call anybody on the phone. Except for my mom, and my friend Adam. But other then those 2, I don't really talk to anybody, one of my friend's even invited me to her place in Boston to spend a day with her. I haven't seen her in 3 years. I had nothing holding me back from going there, I could have figured something out. I was home on Friday, I knew Mr North Andover was happening. Why didn't I just go? I haven't gone to visit NAHS in a long time. The last time I was there was for my friend's prom and for my little brother's graduation. I didn't go on a visit on my own, in a little over a year.

I know my room's not going to leave. I'm certainly not letting it hold me back. Well maybe I am. I know I can get up and go visit some old friends, I know there are a couple people who would love to see me. Usually I'd jump at the chance to go visit NAHS! But instead I chose to bum out in my room. I need to work on that, I won't be able to fix it in a day. But gradually I will.

And Friday was 3 months since I graduated from Landmark, its amazing how fast 3 months goes by. It feels like just yesterday. I wouldn't be here if Landmark hadn't come into the equation. I mean it's possible I would have been, but I don't think I would have been a success here, I needed Landmark, even if at first I didn't think I did. I mean I shouldn't ask what if? Or what kind of person would I be if Landmark didn't come into the picture. But I do find myself wondering. I mean I'd like to think I would have been ok, but who knows??